It's December. The time of the year when people spend a fortune on lights and gargantuan blow-up snowmen to set up next to the saguaro (much to the dismay of anybody with taste, but a treat for the rest with BB guns).
I realized something today. And not just any old thing either. I finally know what December is all about. It's not about Santa. It's not about christmas, or even Jesus. It's the one magical time of year, that Peter Jackson brings the world a big expensive present. It's like New Zealand is the new North Pole, and once a year, Peter Jackson and his crew of magical midgets, ride in on their big fucking chariot of justice and glory to bitchslap Santa, his elves, and Hollywood. And with a budget of $110 million, 16,830 feet of film stock, and a big brain filled with big gorillas, you would expect no less from Peter Jackson. This is a film filled with excitement, horror, action and a bleeding heartful of tenderness. However, if you have an unexplainable fear of heights, arachnids, lots of motion, or a kick in the brain, this might not be the film for you. And its definately not the film for your little kids to go "wah wah wah" throughout half of the movie, and shout about how silly it is and how they're not scared at all, for the rest. They should be murdered. This film is an absolutely glorious gift to the world. Do yourself a favor and see it.