anything but me
blog!!
..:PART I: marvel...the truth behind black stars on a black backdrop..
(-Tuesday, February 07, 2006-)
+[3:33 AM]+
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i'm not one to wallow in self pitty. but i dont have anywhere else to express myself. so ignore this if it bothers you, ya fucking douche.
i am so depressed.
i've just been living in this state of apathy and insincerety for too long. it seeps through your pores, and taints your blood. if you don't catch it in time, you'll end up one of the mindless pseudo-people, and join rank in the mindless army of apathy. i've been having a harder and harder time connecting to people. i feel this chasm growing deeper day by day. its gotten to the point where i just feel completely and utterly alone. all i hear is my echo, and all i see is the barren desert. i dont have anybody. only you, my dear diary. you will help me overcome.
it's called winter depression. The extreme darkness of a northern winter syphons its way into the vacuum of your skull, beating its black heart and bleeding its black blood into your brain. It's like that. just without the darkness. or the winter. all you can see is that dark shadow your eyes are swimming in.
and then you meet someone new. and the loneliness dies, a bullet piercing its wicked heart. You watch the pool of bitter blood grow, as you frolic in what you had almost forgotten. a connection. somebody. so you nurture it. this is what you've wanted. this is what you've ached for. somebody. special. but then it dawns on you. this isnt new. it's an old person you've disguised in a simmilar body, in a simmilar voice, with simmilar mannerisms. and then you know. you dont actually know anything about them. only what you want to beleive. only the memories of who they almost are. the loneliness pulls a jesus. but thats what you get. its an emotion, it wont die you stupid fuck. thats what you get for being so damn dense.
[+/-]
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So no pirates means no swag and no swag means no grog.
And we're getting dangerously low on grog.
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My mood? Why, i'm the official grog-swilling, buckle-swashing,
purple-gutted, gubernatorial scallyspanker. Whadd'ya expect?
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